we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
