Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
