I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
