he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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