this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
