I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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