I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
