If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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