I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize