Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
