i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
