wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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