I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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