and i looked up. we had an audience...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My vagina is officially offended.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
