I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
