and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
