Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Never underestimate the power of titties
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