My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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