I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
