oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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