she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm passing your future prison.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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