As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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