epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
