My underwear smells like fireworks.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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