Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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