1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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