ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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