Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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