porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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