It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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