They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
