Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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