singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
