your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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