:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
