Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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