I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
