just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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