I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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