Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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