he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
