Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize