awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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