There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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