every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
