I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
