Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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