i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
