just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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