i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize