my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
high people should be assigned attendants
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
