Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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