Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Someone shit on the floor
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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