Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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