stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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