Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
